Hello, I am Ian, founder of Connections Counselling. Here to assist in the facilitation of growth and nurture change, to help people help themselves, via counselling in a therapeutic relationship. Or at least, I am going to do my best to try.

In the same way we exercise to look after our physical health, it is important to do the same for our mental health. I am hoping to address the stigma associated with counselling (and therapy, they are the same) in that many people feel seeking counsel is some kind of admission to self and others that there is something wrong with them. By all accounts, no one is perfect and consequently we all have our flaws and room for improvement, and yet understanding this there is still often a “I don’t need counselling” approach, refusing the benefits of working at depth in a therapeutic relationship whereby, with a counsellor, you can explore areas of your life where change and growth would benefit you. While this could be from a place of suffering, it can also be for self-development.

For the last 25 years I have been a jeweller, silversmith and goldsmith, creating awareness around exploitation in the gold and gemstone industry, working with best ethically sourced materials and campaigning for change. I ran the Precious Metals Workshop, running jewellery classes and supporting young makers build up their own business. This focused on business development which had its strongest focus on the wellbeing of the individual. Ethics and well-being very much being at the core of my past, it is what now shapes my future as I step forward into this new calling.

Whilst I have always felt (and been told) that I was an ear and shoulder to those around me, my journey into becoming a qualified counsellor was somewhat challenging. I have always known I was dyslexic, struggling in educational environments with average at best marks, so coming back into an academic area really tested me. I started to suspect soon into my studies that my dyslexic mask was in fact hiding other neurodiverse ones. Not willing to wait in the NHS 3-5yr queue for assessment, I went private and my suspicions of Inattentive ADHD were confirmed, with a surprising probability of autism also featuring. Understanding my neurodiversities has become an important part of both my personal and professional journey as a counsellor. I now see myself as a neurodivergent professional supporting mental health.

My training with clients over the last two years was with Birth and Beyond (online counselling) and First Step (in person counselling). Both of these organisations’ care focussing on family planning and families with young children. I didn’t plan specifically on working with these two places, I was in fact desperate to work with anyone after six months of searching for a placement and having sent out close to seventy applications to be a volunteer counsellor. Reflecting back however, I am of the mind that these placements were meant for me due to their parallels in my personal life at that time. Having spent four years on an IVF journey with my partner, this experience supported me well at Birth and Beyond and the clients I worked with. Having had a son during my course, also then provided me with a great insight and understanding into the struggles that people can face becoming parents, which was invaluable at First Step.

My training and experience have both shown me that the importance in the therapeutic relationship is fundamentally about the connection between both client and counsellor. It is the relationship, regardless of modality, that facilitates change and

nurtures growth. Whilst some counsellors work with a non-disclosure approach, I have found so far that in order to address the perceived power imbalance in the relationship, it is that connection as two humans and not as

two objects, that allows the relationship to be therapeutic and work in a place of relational depth. It will be the experiences of myself and other counsellors here, that set out our values under the Connections umbrella. One way of demonstrating attempting a neutral power balance in the relationship is that I (and all future counsellors here) will also have their own counsellors, as counsellor, also client.

There is another strong value that has stuck with me throughout my training which came from understanding the facts that the largest section of society that is recognised to need access to counselling the most, is the lowest socio-economic bracket. I fundamentally hold true to the feeling that counselling should not be just for those who can afford it but to be accessible for those who need it the most. That said, I (and colleagues) also need to be paid like everyone else. One of my plans to work in this is not only to have a variable rate system but to secure funding to provide access to the therapeutic relationship for those who cannot afford the variable rate.

Whilst I have set up several jewellery companies in the past, creating Connections is both a daunting and exciting venture. I have ideas as how I would like things to go but remain open to it carving its own way, organically as well. As outlined at the start of this first blog, nothing is perfect and I, my colleagues and this organisation won’t be either. We will, however, strive to keeping moving forward in as best way as we can for the betterment of everyone who connects with us.